What Happens When You Make Jesus Lord of Your Life?
Testimony from Sam Dillion, YP student:
Lordship was my favorite week, and I knew it was going to be big for me on the first day of lecture. Our speaker said something that really struck a chord in my heart, “The measure of your death this week will be the measure of your resurrection.” (See Galatians 2:20) I was willing to put anything down if it meant more Jesus in my life. I could feel a tension inside of me and I wasn’t going to hold anything back this time.
So, for application on Friday, the room was set up with the desks in a circle around a wooden cross. As people felt ready, they got up and did what they thought was necessary to lay down their lives before God. Of course, everyone prayed and laid their hearts out before God, but some people did things like leave clothes from ex-boyfriends or a backpack full of stuff at the foot of the cross as a way of doing something to represent what was going on in their hearts.
If I broke every bone in my body and could never dance again, I would still worship Him and say He was good.
As for me, I was tired of holding onto things and was putting my whole life down, so I laid down before the cross and just started praying. I laid down my abilities, gifts, and talents. If I broke every bone in my body and could never dance again, I would still worship Him and say He was good. I laid down my future and plans, my reputation, my desires, my preferred lifestyle, and financial security. If God wanted me to give up on college and a degree, I would do it. In the face of my family’s disapproval, I would do it. The culture I grew up in says I’m not successful if I’m not supporting myself with a career. But if God called me into a place where I would be living off the support of others, I would do it. Even if everyone back home thought of me as a freeloader and a failure. One huge thing I had to lay down was control of my family and their salvation. It’s something that has always held me back. But on Friday, I put that down and told God that if they died without knowing Him, I would still say He was good and I would still worship Him. If He called me to live out of the country, I wouldn’t let worrying about them get in the way. So I took them out of my hands and put them in God’s. And reflecting back on it, that’s the best thing I could’ve done for them. I can’t save them. Only God can. I love them so much. So much. And for me, that meant worrying about them all the time. But the most loving thing I could ever do for them, was give up my control over their life, and give it all to God.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and
thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which
is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts
and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
I trust God has the best for my life. He can see more than I ever could and has my best interest in mind.
After laying everything down, I’ve seen this verse come alive in my life. So much peace and freedom. I trust God has the best for my life. He can see more than I ever could and has my best interest in mind. And that’s why I’ve decided not to go to college in the fall and come back to Perth and staff on base.
I know that’s a huge decision. It’s easy to ask is it from God? Did He really say that to you? And the answer is, yes, He did. I had been praying and asking God what I should do for a few days and was having a hard time discerning what He was saying. There were so many emotions and expectations weighing on me. On Thursday, I felt Him tell me to write it down and look at it, so I did. I put down both options, Perth and college, and listed for each one why I wanted to do it and what was holding me back. And when it was on paper, it was obvious. I had an objective view of the decision without emotions and expectations muddling everything up. It came down to this: college has never been what my heart has been set on. It’s always been something I’ve been told I should do from family members and the culture I grew up in. So I said to God, “This is what I want to do, and I’m pretty sure this is what you want me to do as well. But, I really want some confirmation because this is a pretty big decision.” And I felt God say that one of the staff, a woman named Brontë who will be leading the YPDTS in 2015, would approach me and ask me at the end of DTS, and if she didn’t I was just to go ask her. So, I had heard from God and I was so excited because of the adventure ahead of me. I had a few months to go before I was expecting to hear the confirmation, but that was okay for me. I trusted God. The next day, during our application time, I briefly thought about the fact that the next day I was going to be hearing back from college. And that meant that I was going to be deciding not to go to college, but also not having full confirmation on coming back to staff. So, I just said to God “It would be really nice if the confirmation could come sooner. I don’t want to be in that limbo of not knowing if I’ll be doing anything in the fall.” I just asked and lifted up my request and to be honest, I didn’t listen to a response or even expect Him to answer. But we were in the middle of a pretty intense time, so I forgot about it. Later that day, I’m walking back to base and run into Brontë. It pretty much exploded out of me, but I told her I wanted to come back on staff and work with the YPDTS and that I think God wanted me to as well. Then…this is the crazy part, she said God spoke to her and she was planning on asking me that day. So, there was my confirmation and it came the day before hearing about college. All I could say was “Uggghhhh, I should’ve waited!” because God had told me to wait for her to ask me, but I got impatient. That goes to show that when we walk in obedience, God’s plan unfolds so beautifully for our lives because it would’ve made my entire life to have Brontë ask me that day. But grace abounds and God was still faithful. Anyway, God had spoken to her to ask me during application time – when I asked God for earlier confirmation. Like, wow, He’s so good and so faithful. (That also makes me think how much we miss out from God just because we don’t ask. He’s our Father and wants to give us good things, but sometimes we don’t even ask. James 4:2-3) I’m so grateful because He didn’t have to confirm what He was saying on Friday, yet He did. I was fully prepared to go through that limbo.
My life changed this Friday when I laid my life before Him, and I’m never going to be the same.
So, I talked to Brontë for a few more minutes about what I would have to do and when I would be coming back. Long story short, I have to fill out some applications, raise support of course, and come back late November to be ready for the YPDTS by next January. And when there aren’t DTS’s going on, I’ll probably work with NexxWave, the base’s youth ministry. For the time being, I’ll continue to press in and get as close to God as I can while on DTS. It’s like a greenhouse here and I need my roots to go as deep as possible before going back home. My life changed this Friday when I laid my life before Him, and I’m never going to be the same. I don’t want YWAM to be my crutch though, so I’m going to work my butt off to remain disciplined when I get home because I want to come back to Perth stronger and closer with God than when I leave.